Thursday, November 1, 2012

A little light is still flickering

I have to admit I am struggling with shaking it off (story reference) and stepping up at the moment. I feel like the shovels of things covering me and breaking me down are coming faster and weighing heavier than I can endure. I follow a teacher in Connecticut- Paul Bogush- via his blog. I came home yesterday frustrated, tired, sick (lovely cold has destroyed my voice which makes teaching the past 3 days a train wreck). I came across a recent post he did "Why I continue teaching..."
I really like what he says here: 
"I remember reading about how when tragedy strikes, people who knew peace and prosperity before the tragedy can recover from it quickly once it is over, and knowledge of how it once was allows them to persevere. Those who were born into it suffer, often lose hope, and quit.  All of those people who are searching for results on “leaving teaching…”  I wonder how long they have been teaching?  Do they remember what it was like to enter the profession at a time when there was hope?  When you could innovate without crushing federal and district policies?  Do they remember back to when if you needed to do something to help kids you just did it…there was no paperwork, committees, and six layers of bureaucracy to get through?"
And here:
"You can’t teach anyone anything other than facts.  In order for someone to learn something from you, you must be answering a question that they have.  Your role as a teacher then, is simply to get kids to ask questions.  No questions, no learning."
The part about getting kids to ask questions has always been important to me but such a tough thing to accomplish. Kids somewhere in the middle of Kindergarten seem to lose that wonder, that curiosity, that desire to learn more than what is presented to them. 

 I needed his words and thoughts yesterday and again today as I reread it and head off for another day at school. 
I also needed and appreciate a conversation I had with a mentor friend yesterday afternoon. I shed a lot of frustration tears and he just listened, empathized and then helped shine a light  on how I can shake a bit of IT off and step up. ~ Thank you MW- you always inspire me.
I also needed a text convo with another mentor friend who said, "You are not a failure. The job we have to do is not the one we prepared for." ~Thank you GP- you honestly have not wrecked my life, more so you are helping me grow.

So as I venture off for another day, I will look for the small successful moments to get me through right now.

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