Friday, September 14, 2012

Learning to Breathe Water

Learning to Breathe Water

I'm not gonna sugar coat or lie about my first two weeks of school. I know I'm not the only one to ever feel this way but wow.
This is not very well written but at o'dark thirty I needed to spill to a friend why I'd not returned her texts this week and why as I write this I am teary (I'm a softy at heart and when I'm overwhelmed the tears fall like rain).

"Not ignoring you my dear friend.  I've just had another 'awesome' week.  
Have worked 11 hours at school each day, not home before 6, had an 8th grade student look me in the face and say "ya know you don't belong at this school",  have caught a lovely cold from a germ factory, still do not have my computer lab dialed in because having MACs means they are not networked and all has to be done manually by hand (like setting up user groups because they don't use active directory, adding printers, desktop shortcuts to all user groups that have been created...), then am the site tech rep that now has upcoming trainings the next few Tues/Thurs from 4:30-6:30 so I can be pulled like stretch armstrong around the building to problem solve issues during the time I DON'T have, the two first grade classes have 35 students and are a management nightmare, had an ece girl get really mad at me because I was trying to move her away from a girl she was pushing in line- she told me she didn't like me and was going to tell her mother, have 650 names I need to learn and many are baffling... not sure when it's an h or a j and what is silent and what is pronounced- had one girl mumble under her breath on the second time she came to class and I was calling role- "jeez, learn my name would ya"... even after I prefaced with the fact I was learning a lot of names and it was the second time they'd come to class, I only see each group once a week so that doesn't lend itself for learning too many names nor does it lend itself to working on multi-day projects, yesterday after the 8th graders came back from lunch I was up in their hallway to chat with a student who'd messed with the settings on his computer and.... let me tell you-- it was one of the scariest moments I've had.  The students were upset because the admins split up the two 8th grade classes for lunch because they were being AWFUL together. So their answer was to start pushing in the hall and making loud noises and whistles.... come to find out it was fake and they were doing it to intimidate the adults (which they did)-- they had the principal, two APs, the security guard, and about 7 other adults in the area trying to manage and get them to class, then we are doing 7/8th grade electives the last 30 minutes of the day and so the students got to choose one- art, music, tech, drama, college readiness. Well some were moved into an elective they didn't even select because they wanted to minimize the number of difficult students in each section... therefore I had 3/20 REALLY not wanting to be in my room--- which makes it so not awesome for the rest but yet, what am I supposed to do with them? They didn't want to be in my class yet they were placed there--- I get they are crabby, my back, body and feet have been exhausted and in pain every night because I am on my feet on a tile floor all day (need to invest in better shoes with money I don't have)-- I have yet to sit down and eat my lunch- it's been done standing and walking around the room working...

On the positive side:
  • had a couple 7th graders do something great with Taxgedo and really liked what we did for electives class yesterday-- one girl was in there REALLY quick, energetic and was my helper because she finished so quickly!
  • had the ece-spanish group come in and this one girl who'd cried the first 3 times I've seen her actually smile and wave goodbye to me as they left.
  • Jorge in 3rd grade shared that his hamster had babies. 
  • the 5th graders are awesome
  • Today is Friday"
Pretty sure I need to escape this weekend to reset, reenergize and renew. I have just the place.

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